


baby, you’re the perfect ingredient

by queenhomeslice



Series: Promnis One-Shots [5]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Dirty Thoughts, Flirting, Flirty Ignis Scientia, Flustered Prompto Argentum, Getting Together, Grinding, Innuendo, Kissing, Lestallum, M/M, Promnis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29339811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenhomeslice/pseuds/queenhomeslice
Summary: Ignis holds up a rather sizable zucchini and turns it in his hand, watching the crisp green skin shine in the light of the blistering afternoon sun. “What do you think, Prompto? A good specimen, or no?” He side-eyes Prompto from his peripheral vision.Prompto could just die. Ignis holding a zucchini only makes Prompto think about Ignis bending him over every available surface and fucking his brains out, and definitely not dinner, even though he is a little hungry. Prompto gulps.
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Ignis Scientia
Series: Promnis One-Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1840786
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	baby, you’re the perfect ingredient

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Railyard_Ghosts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Railyard_Ghosts/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Square Enix or any production studios behind the Final Fantasy franchise or Final Fantasy XV; I am not making money from this work and I do not own the rights to FF in any way. 
> 
> ______  
> More discord chat shenanigans. I hope you enjoy this, gg! Thanks for the prompt. Lots of dumb food innuendos here, so I hope you laugh as much as I did. XD

Noctis had flopped on one of the queen beds in the Leville almost as soon as the four of them had walked into the door. Gladio’d showered and hit the downtown scene, looking for a quick hookup at one of the lively dive bars on the other side of town. With half the party thus occupied; and since playing King’s Knight gets boring alone after a while, and since Prompto’s reviewed his pictures a dozen times already, he sees little else to do except to accompany Ignis to the crowded downtown markets. 

It’s so hot, Prompto doesn’t know how Ignis is even his long-sleeved pinstripe shirt, with suspenders to boot. He’d ditched his vest and couerl-print jeans for a red tank shirt and gray pants, hoping the lighter colors would help take some of the edge off. He can feel his hair wilting, and it’s not even raining. He _wishes_ it were raining. But Ignis has only rolled up his sleeves to gather neatly as his elbows, giving Prompto unfettered view of the older man’s toned forearms. 

It’s a view that Prompto is ever grateful for, and if the sweltering heat of Lestallum is good for one thing, well—at least he can blush and sweat out in the open without Ignis gaining insight into his overwhelming attraction. Prompto’s never sure if Ignis is actually flirting with him, or just being suave and cool for the hell of it; probably the latter, _definitely_ the latter. But these little moments alone with Ignis are a dream come true, and Prompto will just have to rub one out in the shower later to the memory of Iggy’s sharp cologne mixed with the musk of sweat and spices surrounding them as they push through the throng of Lestallum locals. 

“Prompto?” 

Iggy’s voice cuts through Prompto’s lewd thoughts. Prompto’s tucked close to his side, close enough to feel the stickiness of Iggy’s white pinstriped shirt against his lean, muscled frame. He’s carrying a cloth tote of necessities that they’ve already picked up, and now Ignis is browsing the produce stalls for suitable ingredients for dinner. 

“Hm?” Prompto looks up at Ignis, admiring his beautiful profile. Damn. He really doesn’t stand a chance. To be even this close to Ignis—physically, and as minor friends in the service of Noctis—is enough. It _has_ to be enough. “Sorry Igster, spaced out.” 

“Come back down from the stars, then. I need you,” Ignis replies with a small wrinkle at the corner of his perfect, perfect mouth. 

Prompto pushes himself closer to Ignis and clears his throat. _I need you_. Prompto should’ve just taken a nap with Noctis, because this is _clearly_ very bad for his libido. He’s going to end up blurting out something he doesn’t mean; but maybe if he’s lucky, Ignis will just laugh it off. He’s that kind of guy. Prompto can at least hope for a gentle rejection at best. “Uh, Cadet Prompto, reporting for duty!” he beams, smiling hopelessly at Ignis. 

Ignis holds up a rather sizable zucchini and turns it in his hand, watching the crisp green skin shine in the light of the blistering afternoon sun. “What do you think, Prompto? A good specimen, or no?” He side-eyes Prompto from his peripheral vision. 

Prompto could just die. Ignis holding a zucchini only makes Prompto think about Ignis bending him over every available surface and fucking his brains out, and definitely _not_ dinner, even though he is a little hungry. Prompto gulps. “Y-yeah, Iggy, uh, looks great! Looks like it’ll be good and crunchy.” 

Ignis grins and nods, turning to the vendor and picking up a few identical-looking zucchini, asking for them to be bagged. Ignis pays and nods, setting them into the straw tote that’s on his arm. They move on to the next stall, and Ignis seems hell-bent on teasing Prompto until he’s a puddle on the cobbled street. 

“What about this one, Prompto? Solid enough for our ratatouille?” He glances down. 

Prompto looks up and bites his lip, silently begging the Astrals to let him get through this without making a complete fool of himself. “Solid-looking squash, Iggy.” 

Ignis nods, turning the yellow squash over in his hand, squeezing it and bouncing it a little in his palm. “A good weight, too. Should be thick and juicy, don’t you think?” 

Prompto really hopes no one notices the half a stiffy he’s sporting. Of all the dishes, Ignis had to be making one that requires _multiple_ phallic-shaped vegetables. _Thick and juicy._ Of all the descriptions... Is Ignis is doing this on purpose? Nodding, Prompto just squeaks “Yep!” 

Ignis picks up another squash and hands them to Prompto to hold, and then—fucking hell—Ignis picks up an eggplant, and Prompto has to close his eyes for a moment and practice breathing. “Does this eggplant look all right to you?” 

Prompto cracks open an eye to see Ignis staring down at him, still sporting a hint of a smile. He’s so _evil_. Prompto can’t decide if likes the torture or not. “Your eggplant looks perfect, Iggy,” he blurts before he can stop himself. 

But Ignis only nods and says, “Indeed.” He turns to the vendor and asks for a bag, paying for the squash and the eggplant. Prompto hands them over and shivers when Iggy’s fingers touch his own. 

They move on to a third stall, this one ripe with spices and grains. Ignis picks up two cups of rice just so that they’ll have a starch with the dish; as well as basil, thyme, bay leaves, and minced garlic. They’ve already purchased bell peppers and tomatoes and onions; and salt and pepper are things that Ignis keeps on hand at all times. Prompto takes mental note of all the ingredients, pulling the shopping list from his back pocket just in case. He desperately wants to be helpful to Ignis, so he triple-checks the list. 

“Think that’s it as far as dinner ingredients, Iggy,” Prompto nods as they attempt to exit out of the opposite end of the market, close to the tight-knit buildings and quaint, dark alleys. He holds up the list. 

Ignis shifts his bag of vegetables and plucks the list from Prompto’s fingers, scanning it. “Yes, it seems we’ve finished, except for one thing. Thank you for helping me, Prompto. I’m glad you could join me.” 

“Oh, uh, sure Igster! No problem! But what’d we forget?” Prompto shuffles along until they finally pass the last few stalls of the market square, feeling the warm air drift down from the power plant. 

“It wasn’t on the list, but I am running low on cooking oil,” Ignis says as he navigates them to the other side of the square. “The perfect oil can make or break a situation. No matter how careful the preparation, without a good oil, the results can be disastrous.” 

Prompto feels a surge of warmth tingle down to his _toes_ , and it does nothing to help his arousal. All this talk of _prep_ and _oil_ takes his mind in a hundred different directions and he’s sure that Ignis definitely does not mean it the way Prompto’s thinking. He tries not to look at Ignis’ perfect gloved hands while thinking about oil and prep and what it would be like for those long, deft fingers to slide into him and pry him open, taking him apart from the inside out, pushing against that bundle of nerves deep inside of him that would have Prompto seeing stars... 

“See here, Prompto,” says Ignis smoothly, unaware of Prompto’s inner turmoil. He picks up a large glass decanter that’s secured with a cork. The label isn’t even in Lucian, and it looks like it costs more than one of Prompto’s guns. 

Prompto blinks, swallowing down the dirty theater of his mind’s eye. “Yeah Iggy,” he says, breath coming in shallow pants. “Good oil. Gotcha.” 

Ignis only hums and barters with the vendor for a minute before forking over some gil and handing the oil to Prompto, who carefully maneuvers the tomatoes and onion around in his tote to make sure that the oil sits at the bottom of the bag and doesn’t bruise or crush the vegetables. 

“I believe that does it, then,” Ignis says with a nod. “We’ve procured all of the dinner ingredients, plus the curatives and other minor necessities that we all needed.” 

Prompto exhales slowly. He’s not sure how he survived however long he and Ignis have been out here in the swampy downtown market seemingly laden with endless double entendre. But he made it, he thinks, without embarrassing himself _too_ much. Hopefully. He realizes that he’s still hip and hip with Ignis, even though they’re out of the crowd, and he jumps away as though he’s been burned. 

Ignis lifts an eyebrow. “Something the matter?” 

Prompto shakes his head. “N-no, Iggy, sorry, uh. Just realized that I was, uh...kinda close there. Sorry. We’re not being shuffled around like chocobos in a trailer anymore, heh heh...” He swallows and wipes the sweat from the back of his neck. “Gods, it’s so fuckin’ hot here.” 

Ignis only smiles. “Indeed.” He turns, looking at a particularly shady stretch of back alley. “Perhaps a quiet stroll in the shade will help us cool down before we head back to the Leville?” 

Prompto follows Iggy’s line of sight and nods. “Hell yeah, dude. Some shade will be great. Let’s take a breather.” 

Ignis smiles. “Of course.” 

Prompto follows Ignis like a hapless puppy as they make their way from the crowded inner city to the shady, winding alleys that seem to stretch on forever. He stops a couple of feet behind Ignis and presses his forehead to a cool, damp patch of brick, sighing in momentary relief. 

“Shit,” he mutters. He’s still warm from the inside out, half from the heat and half from Iggy’s incessant and accidental flirting. Thick and juicy squash. Long zucchini. Perfect eggplant. Oil. Prompto squints his eyes and wills his arousal down, hoping that his gray pants are _just_ baggy enough for his dick to avoid detection. If he’d been in his patchy skinny jeans, he _definitely_ wouldn’t have gotten away with this. 

“Prompto, are you well?” Ignis purrs into his ear. 

Prompto yelps, jerking his head up to see Ignis pressed close to his side yet again, peering at him with amusement behind those adorable glasses. 

“Gah! Sorry Igs, I just...needed a moment.” He licks his lips. “The brick was cool, so...” 

“So you wanted to be pressed up against it, is that it?” Ignis asks. 

Hoo boy, Prompto is going to have a _hell_ of a time in the shower later, because does he ever want Ignis to press him up against this wall and fuck all the heat out of him. Prompto bites his lip and nods. 

“Hm,” Ignis says. And then with slow, calculated movements, he sets his tote of vegetables on the ground, stands back up to full height, and moves toward Prompto until the blond’s back hits the wall. Prompto braces himself on his palms, cold seeping through his fingerless gloves and making him shiver. Ignis brings one of his own hands up beside Prompto’s head, gloved palm flat against the ancient brick, effectively bracketing Prompto in. 

Prompto gazes up at Ignis, mouth hanging open just slightly. He freezes when Ignis brings his free hand up and rubs it across his bottom lip. 

“Like this?” Ignis asks, smirking. 

Holy shit on a stick, Ignis _has_ been flirting with him. Prompto wants to melt. “Yeah,” he manages. “The wall’s pretty cool, uh...” 

“I’m glad,” Ignis says, continuing to rub his bottom lip. “It won’t do for you to have a heatstroke.” 

Prompto chokes out a laugh. “If I do have one, it ain’t gonna be from the weather,” he murmurs. 

Ignis lifts an eyebrow. “Oh?” 

“You, uh, today, with the...” Prompto coughs. “The _vegetables_ , and uh...” 

The smile that splits Ignis’ face is nothing short of breathtaking; it’s a shit-eating grin that would make even Noctis jealous. “So you picked up on it, then, darling? I was wondering if you would.” Ignis releases his mouth, dragging his fingers to Prompto’s chin and tilting his head up. 

Prompto’s tender heart flutters as he feels heat pool deep in his belly. “You were doing it on purpose,” Prompto breathes. 

Ignis nods. “Very much so, yes.” 

“But why?” 

“It’s only natural that I would want to flirt with you,” Ignis says, like it’s the simplest concept in the world. 

“With--with me?” 

Ignis nods. “I find myself quite enamored with you, Prompto. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I’m afraid I cannot bury these feelings any longer.” 

Prompto sees fit to say “Don’t bury your feelings, dude. Bury your dick inside of me instead,” and then he squints his eyes shut and flushes. “Wow, sorry, I just can’t seem to shut up, huh.” 

Ignis snorts. “Is that what you want?” 

Prompto’s eyes shoot open. “Dude, I’ve wanted that ever since we left Insomnia. And uh. For a couple of years before that.” 

“Hm.” Ignis leans forward and presses his long, lithe body against Prompto’s own, and Prompto trembles all over when he feels Iggy’s interest brush against his own. “I had no idea.” 

Prompto can’t believe this is actually happening. Maybe he’s just delusional—maybe he passed out in the street and he’s back at the Leville having a fever dream. Gladio’s probably laughing at him. He bites his lip hard, but the pain doesn’t change his surroundings at all. 

“Gods,” Prompto breathes. “Ignis, you’re so...” 

“I’m what, love,” Ignis coos, sliding his hand to cup the back of Prompto’s neck. 

“You’re _everything_ ,” Prompto whines as his resolve breaks and he surges forward, catching Ignis’ lips in his own. 

He feels Ignis laugh and smile against his mouth as the adviser kisses him back with equal fervor. Maybe, just _maybe_ , shopping outside in Lestallum during the hottest part of the day was worth it after all. 

Ignis pulls away, but keeps his forehead against Prompto’s. “Delicious,” Ignis murmurs. 

Prompto laughs. “Bro, we haven’t even had dinner yet.” 

“I’d much rather devour _you_.” 

“Fuck,” says Prompto. “Iggy, my zucchini is your zucchini.” 

Ignis dips his head into Prompto’s sweaty neck and chuckles loudly as he cants his hips forward, gasping softly at the friction. “Are you talking about vegetables, Prompto?” 

Prompto giggles, getting goosebumps when he feels Ignis lick the soft junction of neck and shoulder. “Take me back to the hotel, and I’ll tell you.” 

Ignis withdraws and kisses Prompto again before stepping away from the wall. He holds out his hand as he bends to lift the tote full of vegetables and spices. 

Prompto threads his fingers through Iggy’s own, swinging their arms happily as they meander back to the Leville. 


End file.
